HOME REMEDIES

These were infallible truths when I was a kid:

Wearing gum boots indoors will wreck your eyesight (they’re called rubber boots now) and I believe people have hit on more interesting ways to be struck blind.

When you catch measles, and you will, you must remain in bed in a dark room or—yes, you will lose your eyesight.

My father had a rule we never did figure out and he never explained. When you are eating bacon and eggs, it is mandatory to eat toast with it.

As you read the next part, keep in mind that we never saw adults try any of these remedies on themselves

Mustard plasters were the recipe de jour for coughs. Take an old diaper and mix a paste of dry mustard and flour with a little water, fold once over the mixture and place over the chest until the patient complains loudly of a burning sensation. It’s been a long time but I think that’s how it worked. And it did work although we often endured mild burns on our chests.

Here’s another cold remedy. Slice a couple of onions and stuff into the toe of a sock, then knot it and tie around the neck of the helpless, hacking child or if you had an arguably more humane parent, you slipped your feet into the socks and wore them until further notice. Sometimes garlic was added to the mix.

Now that you know how it was done, don't you find it a bit trivial just crushing up baby aspirin and mixing it with jam for your kid to swallow?