When I was young I worried my way through a large portion of my waking moments.
What if Hal dies and I'm left with all those little kids. How will I support them. I have no skills. (I ran a large household on a little bit of money but apparently I didn't consider that a skill).
Anyway, they were all grown and on their own when Hal died.
I didn't have much money but I was aware of some of my skills and the biggest one was that of survivor.
I spent a year almost to the day grieving his loss and then, poof-- the clouds lifted and I made this enormous discovery--I wasn't afraid anymore.
I took stock of me and I decided to go it alone without a man and now, eighteen years later, still resolutely man-less, I've carved myself a life with lots of laughter.
My life is simpler. I look after myself and two cats and am available to my kids in an emergency.
During this time I've bought and sold houses at a dizzying rate and I live in them and fix them up and get the itch and start again. I only made a profit once but this is what I love to do so I do it.
The only thing that remains unchanged is the feeling that I am still thirty and as long as I avoid mirrors and stay healthy I can hang on to this thought.
Despite all that worrying I loved my old life with a house full of kids and a good friend for a husband and now I'm content with my new life.
Life has lots to offer a foxy lady.
1 comment:
Good for you!
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